NHD-C12-GLR-848 | FIONA GALLAGHER
— goodjob | NETWORK - LOGS - HMD
■ ACTIVITY SUMMARY: This month didn't really have a focused whole for Fiona, but it did have a pretty straight-forward theme, and that theme is Trying To Deal With Things By Not Talking About Them. Things, in this case, meaning the incredibly stressful conclusion to Mission Ajna, her disappointing assessment, and the CDC's general policies. Coping, for Fiona, of course, that means a lot of emotional denial and self-blame, because that's how she deals with stress and disappointment, eyyy! You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it take therapy.

Anyway, She started by settling in on the Neheda and trying to get an eye for the life there. She took her assessment and passed well enough by her standards, though she found the entire experience a painful exercise in humiliation-- much like dying on Ajna. But that's life, and she's bound and determined to take her lumps. Of course, afterward, shit hit the fan in a spectacular fashion, with Fiona's oldest friend on the crew getting his ass murdered for minor mutiny. Fiona doesn't know all the details, and that almost makes it worse. She blames herself-- Optimus has had conversations with her before where he expressed discontent, and she mostly told him to suck it up, but she obviously couldn't this time. Why didn't they do that this time? Why didn't she see the signs? Is it her fault? (It's probably her fault.)

After that, Fiona aggressively didn't think about it. Lucky her, the CDC provided loads of distractions in the form of vacation time, and Fiona happily played bread and circuses on Selena VII. Realizing she didn't have anything to remember Optimus by, she bought a camera and tried to take pictures of everyone she knew, whether they liked it or not. Along the way, she smuggled a cat through a museum, because that will look great on her resume.

Ultimately, to Fiona, this month was about closure and failing to find it. She's still trying (very hard) to make herself useful to the CDC, even if her initial enthusiasm has worn off in the face of so much disappointment and humiliation. Still, that just motivates her further, perhaps with less genuine joy, but with no lack of determination. She's going to make this work, because it all has to be worth it some day, right?